I was hoping that maybe the change of having Daddy take him would lower Little Buddy's separation anxiety. Unfortunately, this was not the case. We're getting more and more convinced that this is a phase (since many of Little Buddy's friends seem to be suddenly developing the same reaction), but it doesn't make us feel much better. We just don't like our little guy to be sad.
During a break from my paper writing, I read an interesting article about "The Six Words You Should Say Today." In this article, a mom reflects on the responses of college athletes after they were asked what their parents did that made them feel great during their athletic careers. Their answer? When their parents told them, "I love to watch you play." The author realized that she had never said these words to her children. She had encouraged, guided, complimented, and offered suggestions, but had she every just simply told her children how much she loved watching them do what they were doing? Could her comments be construed by her children as advice to improve because they "weren't good enough?" Could she limit herself to just that one, heartfelt phrase?
She immediately looked to put these words into practice and was amazed at the effect. Her children broke into smiles and the mom could almost see the pressure rise off their shoulders. "The pressure's off. She loves to watch me play, that's all."
How powerful! Right now, because Little Buddy is so young, it's very easy for me to tell him that I love to watch him do something. Every day is a new discovery. There's no pressure, no need for pointers, just a desire to learn. It is easy to rejoice in these moments, but will I be able to continue this practice as he grows up, as he joins sports teams or learns to play and instrument? Will I simply be able to revel in the amazingness that he is doing what he is doing? I hope so. I plan to. And I plan to keep these thoughts in mind. For good measure though, let me just say:
Little Buddy, I love to watch you play. I love to watch you dance when you hear music. I love hearing you giggle. I love watching you feed your stuffed animals breakfast. You are what makes my days worthwhile.
And you know what, while I am at it...
My dear husband, I love watching you be a dad. This was a role you were born to play. You do it so effortlessly, with so much love and care, and I wish I could just bottle every moment to save to relish later. I love you.
I intend on making this mantra part of my daily outlook. We often feel this way, but we don't often vocalize it. Think how great you would feel if someone told you that they loved watching you do what you do? How uplifting! Let's try to make this a goal.
I certainly felt it after I picked Little Buddy up from school (where they said he did have a better day--not a perfect day, but a better day). I loved watching Little Buddy as he played at the playground, as he watched and sang along with Elmo, as he smeared pumpkin yogurt all over his face at dinner, and as he begged for his favorite book at bedtime. I love being a part of these moments and I am going to make sure that he knows it.
Goodnight everyone,
LBM
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