It started off well enough. The rain had abated for the morning, so Little Buddy and I were excited to get back to Boot Camp. Of course, even with the best of intentions, we were still late out the door (his diaper change refusals are starting to get a bit old) but we made it! It felt so good to be out and active again.
After our workout, we went into the mall and played at the germ tree for a bit. Little Buddy really enjoyed going down the slides and climbing over the bridge.
Up!
And down!
It started to go a bit down hill after that. We were leaving to go meet Daddy for lunch and I changed his wet diaper when we got to the truck. As soon as he was changed, I picked him up to put him in his carseat, only to suddenly feel my midsection get warm. Sure enough, he peed on me. Again. Through a brand new diaper. I even checked, making sure that I hadn't fastened the diaper incorrectly. Nope, totally snug. There was just that much pee, even though he really hadn't had that much water during Boot Camp. *Sigh* I really hate getting peed on. It was then time for a diaper and shorts change. Then we finally got on the road to get Daddy for lunch.
Munching on breadsticks.
All seemed recovered by lunch. The little annoyances I had felt about running late and getting peed on were just being rationalized away as part of my day. When you have kids, things happen. Yes, it can get annoying, but you have to accept them and just go with it. In any case, Little Buddy was looking tired and I was happy to get back to our normal schedule and let him take a nice long nap.
Except he didn't.
There was a time, only a few months ago, when I was used to him not napping. When 30 minutes was the norm and I was grateful for even that reprieve. I remember the days when he didn't nap and I would take him on a walk, holding back my own tears and frustrations, begging him to close his eyes for a few moments just so I could take a shower, or empty the dishwasher, or take a short respite of my own. Days when he didn't nap were terrible since I didn't get those few minutes of recharge that I definitely needed. Those days sucked.
Today sucked worse.
Today I learned that those days don't even come close to comparing to how you feel when he doesn't nap after you have become used to two hour naps. I am so spoiled now, expecting at least an hour, at most three hours, of naptime. Not today. Nope, today he slept for a grand total of 15 minutes in the truck and woke up as soon as I tried to lay him in his crib. And he didn't just wake up. He woke up screaming, sobbing mad.
I was nearly devastated. It has been a rough week with the rain, the lack of nap on Wednesday, and the being housebound yesterday. I NEEDED this nap. I rallied my spirits and rocked him. He seemed calmer. I laid him in his crib. He immediately started sobbing again. I went downstairs to wait and see if he calmed down or at least cried himself to sleep. After 15 minutes, it had gotten worse and he was desperately sobbing for me. I went up, found that he had peed out again, changed him, rocked him, and tried again to settle him in for his nap. Again, the crying started and, again, it escalated until I had to go get him. This time he had pooped, so I changed him and started over. Lather, rinse, repeat, there was no way this boy was going to sleep.
So we went on a walk. I was sure that the old standby, surefire sleep method would work. Nope.
"Hi Momma! You thought I was going to fall asleep? You thought wrong."
I wanted to cry. It happens. I just needed that break so much and I now knew I wasn't getting it. It's frustrating. Most of the time, I am able to abate any annoyance I feel by focusing on what's important: Little Buddy's health and happiness. He's a toddler; this is what they do. He is not maliciously trying to break me down, as much as it may seem to my tired brain. He's just awake and wants to spend time with the mommy he loves. That's a compliment to me.
Normally, this thought pattern works. Today, even though my brain saw the logic of my thoughts, my body still wanted a good self-pity cry. You are entitled to that every once and awhile. It gets everything out and lets you refresh. I used to have them more when Little Buddy was very little. So, because I needed to cry and to change out of my sweaty workout clothes, I put some Elmo in for Little Buddy so I could take a quick seven minute shower and cry break. Just seven minutes of break time for mommy so she could come back, recharged, and be the best mommy possible.
Unfortunately, Little Buddy didn't agree.
He came straight to the shower (normally a crow bar can't separate him from Elmo!) and banged on the door. When I opened it to ask what was wrong, he immediately told me "in." Seeing I wasn't going to get any peace (or my hair washed) at this rate, I let him in. So much for my seven baby-free minutes. *Sigh again* Oh well, the shower at least kept him entertained for a few minutes. Even after I was done, he wanted to stay in the "rain." Figuring this was better than chasing him around and keeping him from breaking things he could reach (He is ridiculously tall now. Nothing is safe. Including my Mac Book, which took a dive today from a post he had been previously unable to reach. Ugh.), we just hung out in the bathroom for another half an hour until Daddy got home.
Very intrigued by the "rain."
My poor, dear husband. He could always tell by looking at me which days Little Buddy napped and which days he didn't. He immediately tagged me and took over, giving me a ten minute break, while he wrangled a still-energetic toddler. Then, after we went to pick up his car from the shop, he took us out to a quick dinner so I didn't have to worry about cooking. Once we got home, he took Little Buddy outside to play while I decompressed for a few minutes. Just that short time allowed me to be refreshed enough to work with Little Buddy on his new potty for a few minutes before bed.
"My throne!"
"So, I really like sitting here, but do you want me to do something?"
He did manage to make a little tinkle in the potty, but I don't know if he even realized it. We'll give it another go tomorrow, after I have hopefully rested up. Keep your fingers crossed that we get our nap back!
Good night,
LBM
Little Buddy's Mommy
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